Gee it's been hot the last couple of days. Pea and Chook might be fruitcakes but they are thoughtful fruitcakes. I was laying in my cage as limp as a month old carrot when Chook puts one of those freezer blocks wrapped in a tea towel into my cage. I immediately sat on it and oh boy did that feel good. Before that it was hot enough to cook a cavy's cojones.
Someone else who's cooking these days is President Mubarak of Egypt. I know all about his problems because I like to sit and watch the telly through the bars of my cage. Now that's not as sad and pathetic as it sounds. For example it's not as sad and pathetic as internet dating. Even Pea is not desperate enough to try that, which is just as well because Chook would have him in front of me in the queue for neutering before he could say "Can't Billy go first?"
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes - Mr Mubarak. Now I used to like that nice Irish gentleman Mr O'Barmer. He seemed like a reasonable sort of chap, but today I heard him come out with the most breathtaking piece of hypocrisy I've heard since Pea said I was a bit smelly last week. He said that only the Egyptian people have the right to say who that want as a leader. Who the hell does he think has been keeping that old bastard Mubarak there for the last thirty years, and lets face it, America has form with this kind of thing. It's not just America either. It's Britain, Australia, France, Belgium and many other so called western powers. They're all happy for people to live under despots as long as they're "our despots." And they're equally happy to fund the armies and police forces that keep the populace under control. Here's just a few examples for you. Pinochet in Chile, The Shah of Iran, Debayle in Nicaragua and yes, even Saddam Hussein. It's all very well saying that these leaders were valuable strategic allies but they usually end up either as deadly enemies or become so deeply unpopular that they are ousted and replaced by someone far worse.
That's all fine, by all means keep your friendly local despot in power if you think he's going to keep the less friendly despots at bay, but don't pretend to be surprised when it all goes pear shaped and most of all, don't patronise us. Even a guinea pig with hot reproductive organs knows that leaders like Mubarak don't stay leaders against the will of their own people for long without help from their powerful friends. Meanwhile I'm very grateful to my not so powerful friends for helping to keep my dangly bits cool.