Sunday, February 6, 2011

Just Plain Weird

Pea is desperately worried.  He's heard on the radio - and he only listens to the ABC, so it must be true - that  Justice Minister George Chaponda of Malawi has banned farting in public.  This may have serious consequences for Pea who travels to Africa frequently using his African Travel Specialist job title as an excuse.  He's concerned that if other African nations follow suit he will become a persona non-grata throughout the entire continent.  He reckons that one day he might peacefully going about his business in Botswana when he suddenly and accidentally lets rip and finds himself in the slammer on a charge of being in possession of an offensive bum.  Quite right too if you ask me.  He's been asking for trouble for years.  I'd love to know how they intend to police the law though.  Imagine half a dozen people in a lift including a police officer.  Someone slyly introduces a "silent but deadly".  Everyone is going to be pointing the finger at everyone else, and what if it was the copper himself?  No, it won't work I'm afraid.  It's a silly law.  It would be much better to ban the sale of baked beans, or at least have a three day cooling off period  when someone wants to buy a tin.  Another alternative would be to issue the whole population with corks, but that might bring a whole new meaning to the term "rampant inflation".

Meanwhile on the domestic front, my house-mates, Paolo and Biggles the budgies have been very active lately.  Unlike yours truly they don't seem to mind the heat.  In fact they obviously enjoy it.  When it's hot Paolo smooches up to his mirror and starts chirping sweet nothings at it and gently pecking at it as though he's trying to kiss the pretty blue bird therein.  On the other hand  Biggles - my little green friend sidles up to his mirror like a drunken Glaswegian and head butts it with all his might.  He then kicks it and whacks it with his wing while he holds it down with his beak.  He's a nasty bit of work sometimes.  Then he rushes around to the other side of the mirror only to find that there's another little green bastard there so he proceeds to knock seven shades of bush chocolate out of it too.  Then a suddenly as the violence began it's all over and he starts kissing the mirror very gently, just like Paolo as if he's trying to make up for half killing it.  Honestly these native Australian animals are just plain weird.

Pea has just slipped what is supposed to be a rabbit slash guinea pig treat into my cage which I take it I am supposed to eat. It's the size and weight of a house brick and would take me a year to get through it. Why the hell would I want to eat anything made of rabbit slash?  My own smells bad enough on a hot day.  Anyway, despite myself I had a nibble and it's not half bad actually.  Apart from rabbit slash it contains dried fruit and vegetables, nuts and seeds and I'm sure it's very nourishing.  I think Pea has an ulterior motive though.  He's hoping it'll blunt my teeth a little so he doesn't have to be so nervous when I'm on his lap having my fur brushed.    

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