Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What an Arsehole Looks Like

Badger and I get to run around the lounge room floor every night. I like to potter around, exploring nooks and crannies and wheeking at the moon through the screen door. Occasionally I come face to face with a possum and that can be pretty scary - pink nosed monsters. Anyway, the point is I like to make the most of my floor time. Badger on the other hand prefers to sit in a half shoe box, just staring at everyone in that psycho, Hannibal Lechter way of his, only emerging to nibble on a treat now and again. He's probably imagining it to be my thigh bone or something. I never wee on the floor, but I will admit to leaving the odd sample of bush chocolate in strategic places. My staff are discreet enough to avert their eyes while I'm doing my business, but for some reason they're always watching whenever I try to mount Badger - the sexy little black-bottomed minx.

Whenever my staff lift Badger off the old towel that he sits on there is always an extraordinary pile of bush chocolate left behind. I've no idea how he manages to produce so much of it. I reckon if you held him up and turned his ear round and round he's shoot his pellets across the room like a furry gatling gun. It's quite incredible. The military would love to get hold of a weapon like Badger's bottom passage.

Last night while I was sitting on my male staff's lap watching telly, Channel Ten made a glaring error. They interrupted the commercials with a programme. It was the news. Commercial TV news editors' priorities have always confused me. The lead headline is usually something like "Oprah Winfrey sneezes, but denies she has swine flu." Or, "Tiger Woods denies being seen with Calista Flockhart. Says - It was a 3 iron." Then squeezed in somewhere between the sport and the weather comes "Japan hit by massive earthquake and tsunami. Twenty thousand dead."

On this occasion there was a news item that proves Australia can be just as good as Singapore at breeding cowardly, low life, scum sucking bags of bush chocolate.

(See http://pemery.blogspot.com/2011/03/killer-ibis.html and http://pemery.blogspot.com/2011/04/best-friend.html )

A nice young man called Kale Falchi deliberately ran down a black swan on his jet ski at the Gold Coast. The swan was badly injured and a wildlife sanctuary spent four months trying to save the bird before having to euthanise it. This pathetic excuse for a human was too stupid to carry out this act of bravery away from  the public's gaze and witnesses heard him say to his passenger "Watch this." seconds before he hit the swan. He was even filmed in the act. You can see it on You Tube, though I don't recommend it. When asked why he didn't turn back after he's hit the bird he said "I was late for my lunch." It would have been nice to see him go to jail, but the magistrate fined him $11,000 and sentenced him to 180 hour community service.

On a brighter note, Channel Ten did release his name and show his face, so now everyone knows what an areshole looks like.

2 comments:

  1. Billy Baby You are Right on the Money there mate I saw the Arsehole and I would gladly collect of pile of yours and anyone else's bush chocholate and deliver it to his place of residence I've lit a candle for the poor swan and Hope Karma kicks his arse some more
    Hugs Lou the Rat Rescuer

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  2. Whee piggies think that it would have been more appropriate if somebody had run this despicable human over with a jet ski in return. that poor swan..

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