Bollocks

Badger and I had a great old piggy giggle yesterday. My male staff had just left for the office when there was a knock on the door. Assuming it was my male staff returning because he had forgotten something my female staff went to the door in her underwear, swung it open and declared "Hello darling, you're back already." This somewhat surprised the lawn mowing man who had knocked on the door as he was new and had never met my female staff before. My female staff squealed like a girl and shut the door in the poor man's face before rushing to grab a dressing gown in which to continue the conversation. I'll bet the lawn mowing man had no idea that lawn mowing could be so rewarding or that new customers could be so affectionate. My female staff's face is still a very fetching shade of pink even now.

Well, my second Easter is approaching. I don't remember much about my first. I was only 2 months old, but I do remember a lot of talk about the Easter Bunny, which worried me greatly at the time because rabbits are known to kill guinea pigs when housed together. However, no rabid rabbit appeared and so I survived to see another Easter. This time I will be spending it with a pair of fruitcakes and I get the feeling that there will be no mention of the Easter Bunny in this household. For my male staff it's yet another opportunity to stomp around the house muttering "Bah! Humbug" and complaining that there have been "bloody Easter eggs" in the shops since early January. Not that it stops him consuming these much maligned eggs like a famished monitor lizard let loose in a hen house.

For someone who studied theology my male staff is not particularly religious. In fact he says that his study led him to believe that the whole religion thing is a "bowl full of bush chocolate" (I think that might be a theological term.) and that the world would be better off without it. I think that makes him an apiarist or something. (Or is that someone who is intimate with apes?)  Anyway, you get the gist. He's not at all religious, and as such would make a great minister in the Church of England. He laughs at people who belittle aboriginal beliefs in the Dreamtime and the Rainbow Serpent, saying that such beliefs are naive and primitive, but then go on to say that they believe in the Virgin Birth and Resurrection. Apparently in certain parts of the world they still believe in Creation, that God created the world in six days and had a cafe latte and a piece of cheesecake on the seventh something less than ten thousand years ago, and that some dude called Methuselah lived to the age of 969 years - must have cost a fortune to fund the old bugger's pension.

Now here's an interesting paradox for you to think about. In the world's most scientifically advanced nation - the United States of America a Gallup poll found that 40% of the population believe in Creationism. That figure rose to 50% when Republican voters were polled. There is even a movement to have it taught in schools under the title "Intelligent Design." George Dubya Bush loved the idea of Intelligent Design, probably because he had so little intelligence himself. My male staff says he has a more appropriate term for it - "Bollocks"

Mind you, even here in Australia we aren't immune to lunacy, at least two senior politicians admit to being sympathetic to the idea of creationism. There's Steve Fielding, the nutty independent and Tony Abbott the almost as nutty leader of the opposition who believes in intelligent design at the same time as saying climate change is "crap". Not a big fan of science - our Tony. Anyway, if there was a God I'm sure he wouldn't have given me testicles that drag along the floor.