Australia has a legend.
A true blue sporting great.
A portly little wombat
Who’s known as “Slam Dunk Kate.”
Kate loved watching basketball.
Every weekend was the same.
She’d walk down to the stadium,
She never missed a game.
Her favourite team were animals.
They called themselves “The Brutes”,
But when you hear about the team
You’ll see it didn’t suit.
The captain was a possum,
As timid as can be.
Whenever the spectators cheered
He’d scamper up a tree.
There also was a bilby
And a bandicoot.
They hopped around the court a lot
But couldn’t really shoot.
Then there was an emu
Who was something of a glutton.
He’d stride up to the umpire
And swallow all his buttons.
Their star player was a python
Who couldn’t bounce the ball,
But if you stood him on his tail
He’d be seventeen feet tall.
The other teams all laughed at him.
They though it very funny
That someone seventeen feet tall
Should crawl round on his tummy.
“The Brutes” had never won a game,
They’d never even scored
And sometimes when she watched them play
Even Kate got rather bored.
Then one day a challenge came
“We’re the Harlem Globetrotters.
Would you like to play?”
“Any team that’s called The Brutes
Must be really good.
But if anyone can beat you
I think perhaps we could.”
And so the big game was arranged.
Globetrotter versus Brutes.
The animals were so excited
That they all bought brand new boots.
Except the python naturally
For he wasn’t blessed with feet.
He needed boots about as much
As a dolphin needs a seat.
The day of the big game came around,
And the first one there was Kate.
She arrived just after half past one,
Though the game didn’t start till eight.
She made herself quite comfortable
And curled up on the floor.
Within about five minutes
She’d begun to snore.
She slept and slept and slept and slept
Without so much as a though
That she was curled up in a ball
In the centre of the court.
When the teams were introduced
The Americans got a fright.
Five animals in boots and vests
Is really quite a sight.
The umpire when he saw the teams
Said “This will be a slaughter.
The Globetrotter will thrash the Brutes.
We’d better play just one quarter.”
The umpire blew his whistle
And the crowd all cheered with glee.
It was then the captain of The Brutes
Shot up the nearest tree.
The Globetrotters just laughed and laughed.
They laughed until they wept,
And in the excitement no one saw
Young Katie where she slept.
The Globetrotters eyes were filled with tears.
They couldn’t see at all.
Their captain picked up little Kate,
He thought she was the ball.
He bounced her once and bounced her twice,
And with a shout of “Allez oop!”
He leapt with poor Kate in his hand
And slam dunked her in the hoop.
Meanwhile at the other end
A great shemozzle followed.
The emu picked up the ball
With his beak and swallowed.
The ball stuck in the emu’s throat,
A very comical lump.
It was then the possum leapt from the tree
And landed with a thump.
Upon the emu’s back he fell,
Which made the big bird cough.
The basketball flew from his throat,
While the possum just fell off.
The crowd watched in amazement
As with a graceful loop
The basketball sailed through the air
And landed in the hoop.
“Three points to nil.” The umpire called.
Now The Brutes were winning.
“Gosh! We’ve never scored before.”
Said the emu, grinning.
Meanwhile, at the other end
Kate still snored away.
She simply didn’t realize
The part she was to play.
Looking up from beneath the hoop
The teams could see her face,
While her hairy, chubby bottom
Pointed into space.
The Globetrotters knew every trick,
But everything they tried,
Every slam dunk, every shot
Just bounced off Kate’s backside.
The Globetrotters were very cross.
They said “Umpire, take a look.
Does it mention wombats
In your basketball rule book?”
Carefully the umpire read the rules
And finally he said,
“It doesn’t mention wombats
In anything I’ve read.”
Soon the final whistle blew,
The game was over and done,
And miracle of miracles,
The Brutes had actually won.
The crowd went wild, they clapped and cheered
And the possum ran off again.
The emu said, “How will Kate get down?”
Said the python “Hire a crane.”
So, that is what they did
And it wasn’t long before
The crane had gently lowered
The sleeping wombat to the floor.
They chaired the wombat from the court,
A hero of great fame.
It was then that Kate woke up and said,
“Oh! Did I miss the game?”