Check out the letters page of the Sunshine Coast Daily newspaper, third of January edition. There's a letter there from one of those serial whingers who haunt the letters page of every local newspaper throughout the world. This letter is titled "Snake warnings leave out the helpful advice." Above it there is a nice picture of a large taipan. It was this photo that drew my attention to this particular letter as I was about to lower myself onto the paper (which was lining my cage) to have a wee, when Out of the corner of my eye I saw the photo. It made me jump I can tell you. There's no way Badger would suck the venom from that part of my anatomy if the thing had bitten me. I was forced to relieve myself over Hugh Jackman - or at least his photo. Please don't tell him.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the letter. Our serial whinger was complaining that an article in the previous day's issue had warned people to be wary of snakes as this is their breeding season. The article said if you see a snake "Just leave it alone." The whinger, let's call him Geoff because that's his name, wanted to know why the paper hadn't published an emergency phone number to ring in the event - heaven forbid, that he should see a snake. He said he couldn't call 000 because that number is for the police, fire brigade or ambulance. Now hold on just a cotton pickin' minute. Have you humans become so detached from nature that you need a phone number to call in the event of (horror of horrors) seeing a wild animal. For God's sake! If you're unlucky or stupid enough to get bitten by a poisonous snake ring 000 or 911 or 999 or whatever, otherwise just leave the snake alone and it won't hurt you - just as the advice in the newspaper said.
Does Geoff the serial whinger seriously want to call someone every time he sees a wild creature?
"Darling, there's a spider in the bath. Call the fire brigade will you."
"A magpie has just landed on the TV antenna Sweetheart. Better call the police."
"Quick, call an ambulance I've just seen a bat."
How sad that some humans have come to this. Another sad human being is Maverick Queensland Member of Pairliament Bob Katter. Why do the media always call him "Maverick"? I've looked the word up in the Australian Oxford Mini Dictionary. It means unorthodox or undisciplined. There's no mention of insanity at all, of which I'd bet a million dollars to a bucket of bush chocolate that Bob Katter has a substantial dose. You can tell he's mad by his stupid white cowboy hat. No sane person would wear one. The worrying thing is that thousands of Australians vote for him every three years.
For the benefit of my overseas readers this link will take you to a photo of our friend Bob.
His good friend John Molony - the Mayor of the northern Queensland town of Mount Isa was charged with a drink driving offence on New Years eve and Bob popped his empty head up and said that police should concentrate on fighting crime rather than bothering drivers. Well Bob. For a start, last time I looked, Drink driving was a crime and secondly I think you'll find that more innocent people are killed by drink drivers like your friend Mayor Molony than by the rest of the Australian criminal fraternity. So why don't you and your mate John just resign now and do us all a favour. Meanwhile I hope there's a picture of Bob Katter in the next edition of the Sunshine Coast Daily to line the bottom of my cage.