Saturday, July 7, 2012

Trevor Was A Tree Frog

Trevor was a tree frog,
A steady sort of bloke.
He lived in Far North Queensland
And drove a mini-moke.

He worked as a police frog,
Tracing thieves and booty,
But the thing he hated most of all
Was doing traffic duty.

The nasty, smelly petrol fumes
Stung his eyes and made him glum.
It's hard to stop a speeding bus 
With just a sticky tongue.

Mostly though he loved his job,
Though his friends did tease him some,
Because at forty three years old
He still lived with his Mum.

She'd wake him up with tea and toast
Each morning after dawn.
She'd brush his teeth and comb his hair.
She'd even help him yawn.

Whenever his friends teased him
He pretended not to listen.
But big fat tears would fill his eyes,
Run down his cheeks and glisten.

But then one day something occurred
That made his friends applaud.
He was doing traffic duty
And feeling rather bored.

A car shot by at breakneck speed.
Said Trevor "I'll stop his fun."
He opened up his little mouth
And caught it with his tongue.

Now a car is stronger than a frog
And the driver didn't know
That he was speeding through the town
With a cross police frog in tow.

On and on the driver sped,
A crazy, frightening dash
With Trevor clinging to boot
In fear of gravel rash.

At last they stopped at Alice Springs
And Trevor, relieved said "Phew!
I couldn't cross my legs much more.
I really need the loo."

When he returned he felt much better,
But Gosh! Oh dear! and Strewth!
The car was speeding off again
So he jumped onto the roof.

On they drove and darkness fell
With Trevor holding tight.
He though how cross his Mum would be
If he didn't get home that night.

I'll have to stop him somehow.
Thought Trevor with a frown.
So he hopped onto the windscreen
And started sliding down.

The driver got a frightful shock.
He thought he must be dreaming.
A tree frog in a uniform!
His shiny buttons gleaming.

Trevor waved and shouted "STOP!"
And the driver hit the brakes.
"Gosh!" He said. "I'd no idea that frogs could fly,
Any more than snakes."

Through the night air Trevor flew
And landed in the dirt.
Luckily his head struck first
So he wasn't really hurt.

Laying on the car's front seat
There was a large briefcase,
And when the driver stopped the car
It moved at quite a pace.

It smashed straight through the windscreen.
And as the engine ceased to rev.
It bounced once, then twice, then opened
Very close to Trev.

From the case spilled golden coins
And lots of bank notes too.
It slowly dawned on Trevor
Just what he had to do.

The driver was a robber
Fleeing with his loot.
He'd no idea a police frog
Had been clinging to the boot.

Said Trevor, "I'm a police frog,
And you're under arrest.
You'll come quietly with me
If you know what is best."

But the robber said "You can't catch me.
You're nothing but a toad."
He pulled a face, stuck out his tongue
And ran off down the road.

Trevor cried "You're going down!"
They were words he longed to say.
He heard then on the television
Almost every day.

Out shot Trevor's sticky tongue,
The long tongue of the law.
It wrapped around the robber's legs,
Who came crashing to the floor.

The frog was on him in a flash.
He handcuffed the naughty man.
"It's a fair cop." Said the robber.
"This wasn't in my plan".

Now the robber is in prison.
His robbing days are done
And Trevor's friends no longer laugh
When he holds hands with his Mum.

Yes, Trevor is a hero.
He's famed beyond belief,
And all the papers' headlines read