Monday, November 7, 2011

Granny's Frog Impersonation

I've just returned home from visiting my male staff's mum in hospital with my male staff and his dad. She was quite well, despite living entirely on hospital food for more than a week. My male staff took her some grapes, but I ate those. Very nice they were too. The hospital ward is a depressing place. My male staff's mum - who has an inoperable brain tumour looked to be about the healthiest person there, including many of the nurses. My male staff's mad sister says it is the ATC ward (About To Croak.)

Still, my male staff's mum is doing rather well and expects to be discharged later this week if she doesn't escape first. She'll stay at home with my male staff's dad with the help of carers, but in the end her tumour will expand and worm it's way into vital parts of her brain, and when that happens the steroids that have improved her wellbeing so much over the past week will no longer be effective and she will begin to die. I really can't begin to imagine how my male staff's dad must be feeling as the end of his life's partner's life relentlessly approaches. Meanwhile, my male staff and his mad sister and trying to cope with the sadness of losing their mother by trying to ensure that her remaining days are spent in comfort and dignity.

Spending time with my male staff and his mad sister is like attending an inappropriate joke convention. Maybe it's some sort of defence mechanism, but normal people eavesdropping on them and their sense of humour would probably think them utterly callous bastards. I was with them in a shop on the eve of Halloween when they found some Grim Reaper outfits and were discussing the possibility of wearing them into the ATC ward and saying "Right then you lot. Everyone get on the bus please."

I think they must get their macabre sense of humour from their mother. This is one of her favourite jokes.
A little girl - six year old Jennifer, was playing with her granny while her mummy was out shopping.
  "Granny?" She said.
  "Yes Sweetie."
  "Granny, will you do your frog impersonation?"
  "What do you mean Jennifer? Said Granny, a liitle puzzled. "I can't do a frog impersonation."
  "Yes you can Granny." Insisted Jennifer. "Mummy said you could."
  "Mummy did?"
  "Yes. I heard her say "I hope Granny croaks soon, then we'll all be rich." 

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