Sunday, October 30, 2011

Jenny The Hamster

I am constantly astounded at the stupidity and arrogance of humans. They really are the most obnoxious living things on the planet. You're not of course. You've proved that you have excellent taste and intelligence simply by choosing to read my blog. But as for the rest of you - what a bunch of arse-holes!  Let me give you an example. A human dives into the ocean where there are known to be great white sharks. He swims around doing a more than passable impression of a seal and then surprise surprise he gets eaten. Then the rest of the human race wants to kill the shark for doing what nature intended him to do - eat things that look like seals. It's like my male staff going out and spending all day in the sun unprotected, then being shocked and horrified when he gets sunburned and insists that the sun be turned off.

To make matters worse you humans are the cause of these sharks coming closer to the shore in the first place, because you've eaten all the damned fish so that the sharks have to swim closer to the shore to get a feed. Look, if you don't want to be eaten by something large and wet stay out of the ocean. You're not likely to be attacked by a great white shark in a shopping mall are you? True you might be trampled by a one hundred and fifty kilogram teenager coming out of McDonalds - but that's the just the risk you take, you're in their environment, now and again you're going to get trampled. Just don't be surprised when it happens. Okay, rant over for now, just until you humans do something else stupid though.

Last night my male staff received a phone call from his mad sister in England. Mad sister said that their mother is very ill again. The brain tumour that there mother was diagnosed with back in May this year (See ) has started to do it's evil work and she's had to go into hospital again. She's been having seizures and is more confused than my male staff when he's confronted with one of those new fangled "computer thingys". So once again we're packing to travel around the world. This time my female staff and Badger are staying behind, my female staff to work on her shoe collection and Badger to work on his ever expanding butt. I'm looking forward to visiting my male staff's mum in hospital again. I had so much fun last time. (See ) I'm also looking forward to see my male staff's mum. She's a lovely lady who adores little fluffy things like yours truly. I love hearing about the time she revived my male staff's pet Hamster when my male staff was little (About twenty nine I think.) Jenny the hamster was seemingly an ex-hamster until my male staff's mum took her into the warmth of her own bed, massaged her little heart and dosed her with brandy through a dropper. Lo and behold, she came back to life, resurrected like Jesus himself - only with bigger cheek pouches. Jenny lived for several months after that. I think she died of an alcoholism related illness eventually.

Ah well. Back to the packing. See you in England.

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