My staff recently took Badger and I to
for a few days. Prague Prague is the capital city of the and the first thing that struck me was that they need to change their national flag to something more appropriate. The flag they have is too dull. Badger and I came up with something much better. What they should have is a large sausage and two dumplings on a beer coloured background. The beer coloured background represents the fact that the Czechs are the world’s largest consumers of beer per capita. The two dumplings and the sausage should be arranged to form a representation of the male genitalia and serves to represent both the national food and the Czech Republic ’s largest export – internet pornography. Czech Republic
Once inside we found a whole lot of men in frocks carrying candles and before you could say “Cavy up my Cassock” they had cavies up their cassocks. What fun that was. They man who’s cassock I invaded was so shocked that he set fire to the cassock of the man in front of him with his candle. At that point we thought we’d better make ourselves scarce, so we scarpered up the steps leading up to the twin spires. It was a long way up those steps but we were fired by adrenalin due to the half dozen or so men in frocks threatening us with unspeakable acts with their candles. I’ve always maintained that religion causes nothing but trouble. We had no problem eluding our pursuers who had no answer to our athlissisim………athleticcissm………athlettis…………fitness, and we soon found ourselves at the top of the spires from where we had a splendid view of the square below and of my staff who had finished their beer and appeared to be locked in animated conversation with members of the local constabulary – and the police too.
It turned out that my staff had reported us missing – once they’d finished guzzling beer.
Unfortunately, probably due to the language barrier, (My staff only speak Gibberish.) the police got the wrong end of the stick and assumed that we were their children (Heaven forbid.) and mobilised most of the force and a couple of helicopters in a bid to find us before we fell into the hands of people even more perverted than my staff. The cops were not amused when it turned out they were looking for a couple of furry fugitives and arrested my staff for wasting police time. They were going to charge them for the cost of two hours helicopter time, but my male staff burst into tears, so they released them both to get a bit of peace and quiet, plus my male staff borrowed the chief constables handkerchief and the police station had entirely run out of paper tissues. I rather liked Prague.