As a guinea pig it is my sworn duty to point out stupidity in humans wherever it rears its ugly, brainless head. You may have noticed that our very own Australian Prime Minister The Right Honourable? Tony Abbott has been one of my favourite targets because I used to think that he was so utterly and obviously stupid that I simply could not bring myself to believe that he would ever be elected. I honestly thought that he was so blatantly deranged that even the Australian electorate would never vote for him. How wrong can a deceased, fat, fluffy rodent be?
Being as smart as you obviously are you will have noticed that I said "used to think" he was stupid. Now, like the bloke who used to think he was indecisive I'm not so sure. I can't make up my mind whether he's stupid, cynical or a little of both. I'm leaning towards the later at the moment. He came to power by scaring the living bush chocolate out of everyone and appealing to Australia's inner racist, which sadly is becoming less and inner and more and more overt. "STOP THE BOATS" screamed the most used of his many simple three word slogans, referring to the steady stream of refugees arriving in Australian waters by the thousands in leaky boats carrying desperate people from various trouble spots around the globe. Think of the terrorists that might be on these boats? Do you really want to invite such people into our country? He and his ilk said. Indeed, something did need to be done because so many of these poor souls were drowning as these over crowded unseaworthy tubs sank to the bottom of the Indian Ocean or foundered on reefs or rocky outcrops.
However, any decent, humane government would have at least made an effort to stem the flow by doing something constructive to make living in these war zones safer so that fewer people felt the need to escape. But no, Abbott, like many other Western Conservative governments decided that that option was too hard, and anyway it would not appeal to their target voters. Instead these Conservative governments decided to cut foreign aid and increase the number of bombs they dropped on the despotic tyrants they had been propping up for years and now suddenly decided that because these tyrants were making life so bad for their own population that they were leaving in droves and heading towards there own shores they'd better do something about it before their own rich countries became inundated by people of a different hue to themselves. So Abbott and his buddies decided to do "whatever it takes" to stem the influx of ragged humanity by turning the boats around and sending them back to the staging post - usually somewhere on the Indonesian archipelago. This in itself is a dangerous and inhumane act and we'll probably never know how many asylum seekers have died due to this policy because whenever Abbott or his Immigration Minister is questioned by the press the answer is always the same. "We do not comment on operational matters." Obviously the government believes that the Australian public, while stumping up the funds to pay for this barbaric policy, should not have their pretty little heads worried by the potentially fatal results of it.
Unpopular Conservative governments around the world are skilled at playing the fear card when they realise that they are in trouble with the electorate. Tony Abbott's old boss John Howard did it in October 2001 when a boat load of asylum seekers was accused by Howard, Immigration Minister Ruddock and Defence Minister Reith of throwing children into the sea in order to compel the Australian naval ship HMAS Adelaide to rescue them. "We don't want these callous people in Australia. The sort of people who would throw their children into the sea." Said Howard and his cronies and produced photos of children floating in the ocean. The trouble is it turns out that the photos were taken after the boat had sank and not one child had actually been thrown into the water.
However, by the time the truth was revealed in an inquiry into the incident Howard's illusion of a government intent on strengthening Australia's borders to repel undesirables had been successful in getting them re-elected.
John Howard, although an utter twat, was at least a smarter utter twat than Tony Abbott is. Having rightly called the people smugglers who operate these rotten old crates carrying asylum seekers towards Australia criminals and the scum of the earth, Abbott now refuses to deny or admit that Australian border protection vessel crews have been paying people smugglers thousands of Australian tax payers dollars to turn their leaky wrecks around and head back to Indonesia from whence they came. At least Foreign Minister Julie Bishop and Immigration Minister Peter Dutton had the sense to say "No" when asked by the press if the reports of these payments were true. Now, they may well be lying. I'm led to believe that it wouldn't be the first time a politician has told a fib, but at least they didn't spout the same old tired line that Abbott trotted out. "I do not comment on operational matters." He said. "We will do whatever it takes to stop the boats." So, is the Australian government paying these "criminals and scum of the earth" to turn back or not? One thing is for sure. More and more people smugglers will now be filling their death trap boats with desperate humanity and actively seeking out Australia's border protection vessels rather than trying to avoid them in order to get their hand out of tax payers dollars for turning back to Indonesia for a few days before returning a couple of week's later to try their luck again. It's a win-win situation for them. They get paid thousand of dollars by the refugees whether they make it to Australia or not and if they're lucky enough to get caught by a border protection ship they get paid a shed load more money to turn back.
If this really is the Australian government's policy - to hand out wads of cash to bribe foreign criminals to turn back in their stinking hulks full of desperate men women and children - I'd like to see how Tony Abbott justifies that to the merciful Christian God that he purports to believe in. If guinea pigs paid tax I'd certainly be withholding my payment. I wouldn't want any of my hard earned dosh going directly into the hands of people smugglers. So there! I bet you wish you hadn't asked for my opinion now don't you? Oh hang on a minute. You didn't did you? Sorry about that.
Wen I herd Uncal Billy's staff diskussing sumthing called pollyticks I natchrally thort they were like banging on abowt sum parrott wot has swallered a watch, but it terns owt I was rong, witch is unyoosual four me. It seams they were torking abowt the peepul hoo like to think they own the cuntry. Parruntly all these peepul live in a plaice called Canbra witch is like a reely boring village in the middul of nowear so they've got nothing betta to do than make evrywun elses life a mizarry and parruntly they are very good at that.