Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Road Fairy

I think something strange is going on in the United States of America, apart from people shooting each other and the fact that half of the eastern seaboard has been blown away and the New York Subway system has been transformed into the world's largest Wet & Wild theme park. Apparently there's a thing called a Presidential election happening. To be honest I thought a Presidential election was something reported by a Chinese TV news reader during the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky affair. It seems not though. It appears that every four years Americans get to choose who their next lame-duck will be. This year the contest is between that nice Irishman Mr O'Barmer, who according to Donald Trump was born in Iran and is probably a member of the Taliban and some dude called Romney, who due to his vibrant personality was named after a baseball glove. It's all academic anyway because congress never passes anything useful anyway, no matter who is President.

Here in Australia we have Federal elections every three years which is way too often because the winner of the election immediately focuses on short term political gain and generally ignore long term programmes which would benefit the nation and future generations. In fairness, the current government has tried to do this in a limited and somewhat chaotic and incompetent way and as a consequence look about as likely to be re-elected as Badger is to play for the Brazil soccer team in the next World Cup. This goes to show that if you want to be elected in Australia you have to put the National Interest last on your list of priorities. It is therefore essential to express your disapproval of immigration, particularly the immigration of people who are not Caucasian. You should also expound your belief that taxation of any sort is a bad idea and hope to hell that the electorate are too stupid to link taxation to the provision of good public infrastructure like hospitals and roads. Honestly! Where do some humans think roads come from? The road fairy?

The Road Fairy whistles up yet another six lane highway.
Enough about politicians already anyway, it's irritating my thrush, which until now has been getting better, despite my staff force feeding aniseed tasting mush with a bloody great syringe which was supposed to stimulate my appitite, however the taste of it is enough to put you off food for the rest of your life. Vets really should be made to eat water they give to animals so that know how we feel. They should also have cold things poked up their bottom passage for the same reason. I firmly believe that all medical practitioners need to know what their victims/patients are going through. Anyway, all in all I am feeling a whole lot better and I'd really like to express my gratitude for all the lovely get well wishes I've had from everyone, especially my Twitter friends. It really is very moving to know that so many people care about the wellbeing of a small, furry rodent. So thanks everyone, and you know what the best thing is about being well again? My staff have stopped wetting my fur with their leaky eyes.

BADGER'S FOOTNOTE
There have been so many tears from Billy's staff while he was ill that I had to wear wellington boots to keep my feet dry.

  


7 comments:

  1. You're keeling us! Was wondering where in the world you are and since we're up in the Pacific Northwest (best known for BigFoot, Sasquatch, also thought to be tail-less although perhaps not rodential, but we digress) yes, THE ELECRECTIONS! Now that you've been jolly enough to introduce us to The Road Fairy we're writing him in as our next Resident!
    Since we just met, we're really glad to here you are feeling better because even though our mom can't figure out how GOOGLE works (drrrrrr......) it is WE, I, US PIGGIES WRITING TO YA, MATE, AND our human leaks wet stuff so much we had to just get well and be done with it!
    Annoying, especially since HER WELLIES are froggie colored, have froggie eyes, a froggie smile painted on and we cannot bear the humiliation! Stay well, new friends.

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  2. Hey Billy. I actually learned some stuff about Australian government from your post! Anyways glad to know you're feeling better a little bit. And just so you know I have actually tasted that anise flavored mush. I prefer the strawberry banana flavor myself.

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  3. You are not just ANY small furry rodent, you are oneo f our favorites! I think I speak on behalf of everyone in Twitteville, when I say we are thrilled you are making a solid recovery.

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  4. Hello Billy,
    This is Fairy here. A lovely friend of my mum's said we should visit your blog and being as the first post I read was about a Road Fairy I must say you hooked me in straight away (that and your gorgeous floppy fringe bit that my mum had to describe to me seeing as I can't see).
    I know you may not believe it but there really ARE Road Fairies, I know all about them just like I know about the Fridge Fairy, the Poop Fairy, and the special Fairy who makes sure you get to live in a wonderful home just like you and Badger, and me and my pig sisters Pixie and Bear, live.
    Anyway, I just wanted to say I am very pleased you got rid of that thrush business and can enjoy your snackettes once more - talking of which, it is time for my mid morning snack now so I'd better get cracking before those pesky sisters eat it all.
    Cheerios for now, Fairy Magic x

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  5. Billy we live for your posts & would be absolutely bereft without it & most especially YOU!!! Mwahmwah xoxoxxo

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  6. That road fairy looks a bit scary to me, but I like his little dance!! Glad your feeling better pal!

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